We complain a lot about what men do to us the weaker vessels and wonder countlessly if they can get any better, even if just for a moment. Well ladies, we aren’t the only ones with emotions running high, sometimes.

Sometimes, the guys have their own pound of flesh to retrieve no matter how romantic we think they should be. They have a few things they’d rather the women folk stopped or at least put a leash on. So far, I have been able to collate four common but pressing ones.

Hard to get. The age long myth that says that if you don’t play hard to get he wouldn’t appreciate you existence, might be wearing thin, don’t you think? What with a new springing generation of darers who would rather take th bull by the horn and approach a guy themselves without waiting to be approached much less, feign disinterest when approached. Men are fast embracing this new regime [even if it because it makes it easier for them] because no one likes to expend that much energy anymore. It is bad enough they are coming to the realisation the belief that if indeed you are playing hard to get, it means you really aren’t interested and then the next second you’re wondering why he moved on so fast, thinking he probably did because he wasn’t as interested as well. See where this is going?

Venting/irritation. We humans have a tendency to unleash, at the barest opportunity, our anger and frustrations on whoever is in sight to receive it without for our five minute madness, realising this person has absolutely nothing to do with it. This was a common complain amongst men. Now they don’t mind helping you out and holding onto you when you’re angry, mad or irritated, there just won’t mind if you do it with a little less vendetta towards them like they are the actual cause of it.

Leading them on. It is simple. Men and women don’t like to be led on. Especially if there isn’t going to be anything involved after the chase. Guys do not like when they see a green light where is clearly a red light but you’re flashing an amber ‘maybe’ light.

Sex battles. As funny as this sounds, it isn’t exactly sexy when they have to fight for sex. Especially when you’re already in the relationship and you forget that the chasing days are over and become adamant during sexual intercourse. You remind them of the chasing period and in as much as that was done for the love of you, it can be a huge turnoff.

So a male friend and I were arguing on a guy’s perspective to cheating and he had some insightful points, which of course is till don’t agree with is the justification to the act, but he did shed some light on what most of us girls have left to our imaginations. So before you begin, first start by asking yourself…

Have you ever cheated on a partner?

If this hadn’t happened to someone very close to me I’d have thought this was some kind of expensive social network joke. But alas it did.


And I was as shocked as my friend was when

I haven’t scored in a while, and so I have delved into my past. A journey into my past to bring you one of those werid episodes that makes me doubt if I have a conscience at all (I do have though). Guy Code stipulates that you don’t have anything to do with your padi’s girlfriend or ex, but when your padi’s girlfriend is Vera then I think you ain’t left with too much of a chance. When the padi in question has treated her like shit, then my skewed conscience is justified in sampling her. If Victor doesn’t understand or value what he has, then damn Guy Code if it thinks I will pass up on such a delicious morsel.

Vera is one of those girls who love fast and hard, and one thing about those who love fast and hard is that they tend to fall for the wrong kinda guy. Victor was the wrong kinda guy for my dear Vera. Victor was everything I was not those days in school – always dressed impeccably well and with a street smartness I could never match, he had girls literally kissing the floor he walked on, and believe me my guy milked it for all it was worth. I was the sidekick, a scaled down version of Victor, I had half of his street cred and was way more brilliant than he was. We both know (I mean you, yes you reading this) though that those days having brains did not compare to being handsome and street smart. The respect was between us was mutual though as I did have more subtle ways of scoring despite my social deficiencies and it was the brunt of the many jokes we told.

Back to Vera though, the long suffering girlfriend of my friend. She was the main chick in a long line of chicks; she was probably on top of the list because she was so damn fine – she could have any guy but she chose to stick to serial cheat like Victor. It was deeply mystifying and it hurt to see her being treated like shit. Vera was the stereotyped Igbo girl; a fine dark skin, perfect looking boobs and a combination of hips and bum that would draw an involuntary whistle if she struts past you. I have always had this pangs of jealousy when I see her with Victor and the way he treats her like a trophy, which was what she was to him actually when you come to think of it (She was our campus queen).

Vera came to me the first time she caught Victor’s fly down, which must have been like the thousandth time he was cheating on her. With tears in her eyes she poured her out in what must have been the most heartbreaking tears anybody had shed in my presense. After a glass of brandy I had stolen from my dad’s bar during the holidays she calmed down and told me about how He treats her despite how much she cares about him. Like what Dale Carnegie would say I was a very good conversationalist; I listened. Knowing my padi would never change I didn’t bother him. I became a pro bono psychiatrist, a sound board for her misery tales, and when Victor met her once in my place he didn’t feel threatened or suspicious, that’s how much confidence he had in his prowess and me.
Saturdays became our meetings day. She would come with some food because she knew I couldn’t cook to save my life and she would spill her mind while I just sat there and listened. I made the appropriate responses while dying of lust inside everytime she came around, I was lusting after her so bad that I didn’t know how I survived those days. I knew she always looked forward to our talks and when we had nothing to talk about I would get a romantic comedy and we would see it together. Vera was a sucker for happy endings and I indulged her. I remember walking her to the market to get groceries or following her to the saloon (for Vera I was hopelessly romantic) She was happiest when she was with me and I just let her chatter on without contributing much.

Victor thought me harmless and Vera didn’t know how much I ached for her. The swell of her lips made for kissing, her finely shaped boobs meant for a gentle touch and sweet caresses, the dance of her boobs as she walks, her heart stopping cleavage when she bends to serve me a meal, the contours of her hourglass body which I stare at as she is lost in the movies and that sweetness that hurts because you know you can’t have it. I did the best thing to save me from drowning, I cut her off. I went on a fucking spree just to get her off my mind, I avoided Victor because I didn’t want to despise him and I drowned my misery in bottles. I had enslaved my heart to Vera.

Exams were the perfect cover to escape the attentions of the two agents of nemesis in my life and I had successfully extracted myself or so I thought until said nemesis caught up with me. I was doing my laundry one Saturday, with my doors opened so I could enjoy JayZ lines as they flowed out my CD player when the music suddenly went out.

Wondering why it went off in mid lyrics while there was still light, I went to check and saw Vera in my room with a sad smile that could break a heart. “I have missed you” she said as she walked towards me “And I know now that I love you” those words took my heart to a place it has never been, it went past cloud nine and way beyond the threshold of what the climax of happiness should be.

Lips met lips and hands in a wave of emotions discarded clothes. I was in a rush to savor every nock and cranny of wonderland. Six months I have waited, six months I have lusted with my loins and heart, and six months have been worth the wait and as I plunged in I knew I was home “this is how it was meant to be”.

Feel free to drop your comments below, it will really be appreciated. and also add my blog on twitter @datingtechs 

Men and women bond very differently. Knowing this puts you in charge in your relationship and will allow you to have a healthy relationship. Your relationship will be a healthy relationship in the sense that the two of you love each other and treat each other with love. If you are a man, knowing how to bond with your wife will allow you to connect with her and increase the love that she has for you. As your wife grows to love you more, you will in turn love her more.Men and women bond very differently. Knowing this puts you in charge in your relationship and will allow you to have a healthy relationship. Your relationship will be a healthy relationship in the sense that the two of you love each other and treat each other with love. If you are a man, knowing how to bond with your wife will allow you to connect with her and increase the love that she has for you. As your wife grows to love you more, you will in turn love her more.

The same goes for women. If you as a woman understand how men bond, you will be able to get closer to your husband. As you grow closer the love you have for each other will increase.

How do men bond? Typically, men don’t bond by sharing feelings or emotions. It does not mean that men can’t share feelings, it is something that does not come easily to them.

Men bond by sharing experiences. For instance, men can go to a sporting event, yell and cheer for their team and not say more than 20 words to each other the entire time. Whether or not their team wins or loses those men will have bonded because they were there together enjoying the game. That is how men bond. They bond by sharing experiences together.

Women on the other hand, bond by sharing their feelings. It makes them happy to be able to share what is on their mind and what they feel inside. Women feel good about themselves as they are able to share what they feel and have others share with them how they feel.

What does this mean for men? It means that knowing that your wife bonds by sharing feelings will allow the two of you to grow closer together. By taking time to listen to your wife you validate her. You let her know that she is important and that you value her as a person. Sharing your feelings says to her that you trust her. You tell her that you view her as a friend and a confidante.

What does this mean for women? It means that knowing your husband bonds by sharing experiences will allow you to spend time with him and just enjoy his company. He will love you for it. He will appreciate you for understanding him.

What does this in turn mean for both of you? It means learning to compromise. Men need to understand that they must be willing to share their feelings more than they do. It does not mean abandoning your manhood. It means you understand that you demonstrate to your wife you love her by listening and sharing.

Women need to understand that their husbands can and should be willing to share and listen. Women also need to understand that most men will never be as sharing and open up as their best friend or their sister.

Knowing this information will allow you to know what you need to do in order to bond and grow closer together. The result will be a healthy relationship.

The same goes for women. If you as a woman understand how men bond, you will be able to get closer to your husband. As you grow closer the love you have for each other will increase.

How do men bond? Typically, men don’t bond by sharing feelings or emotions. It does not mean that men can’t share feelings, it is something that does not come easily to them.

Men bond by sharing experiences. For instance, men can go to a sporting event, yell and cheer for their team and not say more than 20 words to each other the entire time. Whether or not their team wins or loses those men will have bonded because they were there together enjoying the game. That is how men bond. They bond by sharing experiences together.

Women on the other hand, bond by sharing their feelings. It makes them happy to be able to share what is on their mind and what they feel inside. Women feel good about themselves as they are able to share what they feel and have others share with them how they feel.

What does this mean for men? It means that knowing that your wife bonds by sharing feelings will allow the two of you to grow closer together. By taking time to listen to your wife you validate her. You let her know that she is important and that you value her as a person. Sharing your feelings says to her that you trust her. You tell her that you view her as a friend and a confidante.

What does this mean for women? It means that knowing your husband bonds by sharing experiences will allow you to spend time with him and just enjoy his company. He will love you for it. He will appreciate you for understanding him.

What does this in turn mean for both of you? It means learning to compromise. Men need to understand that they must be willing to share their feelings more than they do. It does not mean abandoning your manhood. It means you understand that you demonstrate to your wife you love her by listening and sharing.

Women need to understand that their husbands can and should be willing to share and listen. Women also need to understand that most men will never be as sharing and open up as their best friend or their sister.

Knowing this information will allow you to know what you need to do in order to bond and grow closer together. The result will be a healthy relationship.

Many guys in their early 'teens' feel uncomfortable when just starting to date. They are not sure of what is expected of them on a 'date'. They are afraid that the girl will not like him, and he thinks he would rather not date, than be rejected. You are not alone in these feelings, and this article is meant to help all teenage guys who need advice to date successfully.

Steps

1. 1
   Be Smart With Your Money. Always offer to pay for the date. This will make her feel you like her more than your money. If she declines and would rather go Dutch (splitting the bill), go with what she wants. Don't take it personally.
2. 2
   Don't Be Crude. Girls want to feel like respected human beings, not sex objects.
3. 3
   Be yourself. She decided to go out with you and not some other guy for a reason. Whatever you do, don't mislead her about who you are in any way, shape or form - it'll come back to bite you later.
4. 4
   Practice chivalry. Offer to carry her books for her, open doors for her (especially when she is getting in and out of your car), and call her parents Mr. and Mrs. when you meet them.
5. 5
   Dress like a young man. This doesn't mean you shouldn't have your own style - on the contrary. But when a boy becomes a teenager, his body changes, and you need to dress a little differently to look your age - you will impress a girl more if you look as mature as your age. This means tidying yourself up throughout the day - make sure you are clean and not wrinkled, and that your hair is looking good. Wear a belt regardless of whether your shirt is tucked in or not. As a boy ages, he usually loses some of the "curve" of a boy's frame, and that's why most grown men you see are wearing a belt! You'll get used to the tighter feeling. Also, make sure your clothes fit well and are appropriate for the occasion. Consider being trendy, but be yourself too. Develop a style, but remember that men generally have less options than women and, though the world has changed, men are still expected to dress a certain way, especially for fancier occasions. So if you're going out, dress a little nicer than you would if you were lazing away a weekend. But, you must have your own style and individuality.
6. 6
   Talk to her. Let her know some of your interests, in movies or books or music. This is always a good way to start a conversation. It will be easy for her to reply on one of the subjects mentioned. If you have a class with her, then mention something about that class. She will come back with either she did not notice you in class, or will mention that she did notice you. This way the conversation can be woven around the class, and will go from there.
7. 7
   Give her compliments. Compliment how she looks, which is always appreciated, but also compliment her on other things, such as her abilities in art or sports. If she is a nice girl, truly, tell her so. It is important not to lie for the sake of giving a compliment, however, because a girl usually knows what she truly is worthy of being complimented for and will feel patronized if she catches on that you are lying.
8. 8
   Keep the conversation dynamic. Do not talk only about yourself, ask her about things that interest her, her hobbies, friends, what matters most to her. If she asks you a question about yourself, answer, then say something like, "What about you?" in order to avoid monopolizing conversation. This will also help you learn more about her.
9. 9
   Show her that you are interested in her in a subtle way. Smile when either of you speak, make eye contact consistently, especially when sitting at a table having a bite to eat, always look directly at her when she talks to you. It is irritating and annoying to talk to someone while they scan the room with their eyes or turn around to look at someone who just walked by. It shows a total lack of interest in whatever she is talking about and makes her feel that you are not interested either in her, or what she is saying.
10. 10
    React to her. If she is not reacting well to the date, does not want to hold hands when you try, or does not converse easily, then back off for awhile. If however, she just looks bored and not interested in you, cut the date short, and take her home. It's okay, and it's not your fault. Remember, this is just practice, and with enough practice, every date will go very well.
11. 11
    Smile. It will show her you're having fun and that you genuinely like her.

Tips

• Girls will constantly test you; keep your confidence and frame of mind and don't let their little things bother you. BE STRONG
• Always be polite to her parents or family members if you might meet them. When they talk to you, be sure to answer them, not ignore them. If the parents don't like you, chances are you won't be seeing her again.
• Keep in mind that most are just as nervous as you are.
• Learn when it's OK to break these rules, but wait until you're experienced.
• If you're unsure about any part of your date, consult with a female friend of the about same age as your companion. Better safe than sorry!
• If you have liked/crushed on the girl for a long time, sometimes mentioning the little things you did to get her attention will be 'cute' to her. -note- this entirely depends on the type of girl and generally isn't recommended unless things are going really well, or its the 2nd/3rd date.
• Don't be pushy or bossy. Do not demand you go to a particular restaurant or a movie. Tell her where you would like to go and ask if she would enjoy joining you, preferably beforehand. If she says no, then ask where she would like to go.
• When considering what to do for your date, it's best to think of a few options for activities or locations and then let your date decide among them. This shows the girl that you've taken initiative but that you've still left her a choice to make.
• Don't make fun of her or her friends and family. By talking about someone else, it shows her that when she is not with you, you might be talking about her.
• A little showing off is alright if it's done in good fun. If you're cocky, you push it, or you overstep any boundaries here, you will come off as a complete moron. Watch it.

Avoid

• Don't make fun of her. This will only make her uncomfortable, hurt her feelings, or maybe make her think you're a jerk. Brief, gentle teasing is OK and can be fun for both of you, but only if she knows you are joking. If she thinks you are being mean or trying to hurt her, she won't see you again. So feel free to playfully jest with her and enjoy the ribbing if she catches you with a riposte, but don't let it escalate to actual verbal dueling.
• Be nice! Girls love it when guys are mature and sweet, even around their friends.
• Don't date a girl just for her body. The relationship will not be rewarding for either of you.
• Never touch her in any way that could be interpreted as pushy, especially the butt or breasts.
• • Watch how you spend your money: go easy on gifts. If you purchase lots of things for her she may find you too easy and would feel it's OK to use you only for your money.
• If you do not actually care about this girl, don't bother. It's a waste of your time to date a girl that you don't genuinely care about.
• Never stare at any part of her anatomy other than her eyes. Even if you don't think that it could be offensive, it could make her very uncomfortable.
• Remember not all girls are the same! The girl you are with now may enjoy certain things more than a girl you have dated previously. Get to know her before assuming things.